


if i showed you my teardrops (would you show me your own?)

by justprompts



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Book 5: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Department of Mysteries, Draco Malfoy & Harry Potter Friendship, F/M, M/M, Sirius Black Lives, Time Travel, Time Travel Fix-It, Veil of Death (Harry Potter)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:21:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28331541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justprompts/pseuds/justprompts
Summary: "HE IS JUST IN AZKABAN," Potter screamed, sounding extremely tired all of a sudden. "THERE ARE NO DEMENTORS LEFT THERE. Your scumbag of a father will be out in no time. But because of him,Sirius- "He broke off - his wand lowering.Sirius? Draco thought, distractedly."Grow up, Malfoy," he said, clenching his jaw and looking away. "This isn't some schoolyard fight between us anymore.""You think I don'tknow that?!"he screamed, losing his temper once more. "The Dark Lord lives at my fucking house, Potter - you think - you think I'm glad my mother's alone with -with them, with HIM?"Potter stared at him for a moment - rubbing his forearm where Draco had struck him, as he tried to stop himself from shaking - and then chuckled darkly - bitterly."So, we're both screwed, huh?"
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 13
Kudos: 191





	1. the rain that's falling

**Author's Note:**

> Basically, if Draco and Harry sorted out their priorities in Book 5 itself and did something about their problems, instead of relying on the we-all-are-gonna-let-you-down adults.
> 
> Or,  
> Can we just give Sirius a glorius death instead of the death-curtain-smothering in canon?

___

_( - "Aren’t — aren’t you afraid, my Lord, that Potter might die at another hand but yours?" Lucius Malfoy had asked, his voice shaking. "Wouldn’t it be...forgive me - more prudent to call off this battle, enter the castle, and seek him y-yourself?"_

_"Do not pretend, Lucius. You just wish the battle to cease so that you can discover what has happened to your son." - )_

"Pressure of examinations!" the old OWL's conducting wizard said sympathetically, and quite loudly - patting Potter on the shoulder. “It happens, young man - "

Draco looked up from his place, eyes narrowed at Potter. He was half falling out of his chair - had he slept while the exam? - Draco wouldn't put it past the attention seeking _hero._ Though, why he looked like he had seen a boggart, Draco didn't know - and as amusing as it was to watch Potter flounder about, he had a paper to score an O in.

_(Only O's are fit for a Malfoy heir, Draco.)_

" - I suggest you go and have a nice lie down," the old wizard said, as Draco muffled a snort. He didn't know what Potter was upto, in all his _golden gryffindor glory_ \- but sleeping was not on his schedule. 

_Obviously._

Potter nodded vigorously, to a point where Draco gleefully pictured his head falling off - and after quite clearly lying about doing _just that, professor, yes -_ ran out.

Draco looked after him with a quirked eyebrow - wondering with a sneer - how many points Gryffindor would get after this little adventure of his.

___

_It was his mother's letter that reached him first._

He cursed loudly, hands shaking - disbelieving, at first - until Crabbe and Goyle came back to the common room, Pansy right behind them - all with pitying, and sympathetic faces.

_(Pity doesn't become you, Draco. Malfoys are respected - and envied by all, feared by most. But we are never pitied. By anyone.)_

He crumbled the letter in his hands, before chucking it into the fireplace - 

_His father was in Azkaban._

He yanked off his tie, which was choking him, all of a sudden - as Pansy rubbed his shoulder, in a manner which was supposed to be soothing.

_His trial was tomorrow._

That's where Potter went, he thought, with dull resignation - before sheer fury engulfed him.

_The trial was just a formality._

It was Potter's fault. It was all _fucking Potter's fault_ \- his meddling in business that shouldn't be meddled with - his constant spurring of the Dark Lord.

_The Dark Lord was in the Manor._

He tried breathing slower - the ashes of the letter flying above the kindle - his mother was all alone - with a deranged sister and fucking werewolves and -

_He wanted retribution for Lucius's mistakes._

Draco would pay it. He would have to. It would be an honor, he told himself firmly - to start off so young, something he had been trained his whole life for. But, there was a sinking, _sickening_ feeling in his stomach - his mother's letter was unclear, and if Draco dared to read between the lines -

_Draco didn't know how - but he was going to kill Harry Potter. Right fucking now._

__

It was surprisingly easy to find them, Draco thought savagely, his wand in his hand - grip white, as he spotted Granger and her pet Weasel sitting under the tree near the lake.

They were three people, and Draco didn't really know what he wanted to do - but he just wanted to see Potter's stupid face, once - _and hex his stupid balls off_ -

_Oh. Wait. Potter wasn't there._

He glanced around - they hadn't seen him yet, so that was good - but Potter was definitely not there. That was suspicious. Where was he right now, if not with his sidekicks? Shouldn't the _Holy Trinity_ be together right now, what with their whole Ministry fiasco - life threatening situations bringing people together?

His mother hadn't known exactly what had happened last night, but she had told Draco about the way Potter had been falsely lured into the Ministry - he didn't know how Potter could be stupid enough to fall for that - and he had heard vague rumours of Potter having a breakdown. Draco - frankly, had no idea why - and he didn't care enough to find out.

He walked back from the grounds, with a twinge of disappointment - and reached the East Wing corridor. He could barely think straight - and preferring not to think at all about his father's condition or about how his mother would be -

_Crash._

He straightened up immediately, spinning around to his left, from where the sound had come - as another shrill crash came from the same direction. He walked slowly to the _should-be-empty_ classroom, and pressing his wand to the lock, opened it with a whispered _Alohomora_. 

And promptly felt like breaking his skull open - as he came face to face with Potter, who was very clearly wiping tears off his face - _why was he crying?_ \- and glaring furiously at Draco, from where he sat on a table - shards of broken glass lying under his feet.

"What the fuck are you doing here, Malfoy?" he spat, angrily - an embarrassed flush on his face - but it didn't have the same bite to it, probably because Draco knew he had been crying. 

"Just wondering who was causing damage to school property," Draco drawled, forcing a smirk on his face - and tapping his badge. "Prefect, you see."

"Great," Potter snapped, looking away. "Now you know. And you can get out."

"Not quite," Draco snarled, his anger finally taking hold - and swiped his wand downwards, as Potter leaped off the table to duck - scrambling for his wand. "You're fucking _dead,_ Potter - "

"Funny," Potter said, sending a sharp curse volleying towards him. "You'd think I'd have stopped walking around - "

"You're going to pay," Draco said, as he ducked Potter's severing curse. "I'm going to _make_ you pay - "

"Well, I'm _terrified_ now," Potter said, sarcastically - as Draco's curse scraped him lightly by his shoulder blade. "I guess Voldemort is just a warm up act, compared to _you -_ "

"You can't land my father in prison - " he began, sending a disarming curse. 

"I thought I _just_ had," Potter said, jeering as Draco yelled frustratedly and brought his wrist up in a smooth swish. 

"You wouldn't understand much about fathers, would you, now?" Draco taunted, and Potter's smirk faltered as he avoided a ricocheting jinx. "Since nobody's ever cared about _you_ enough to - "

" _SHUT UP, Malfoy_ ," Potter shouted, his wand hand shaking as Draco struggled out of Potter's Incarcerous. "Your father is nothing but a - "

" _Don't you dare speak about my father_ ," Draco said icily, belatedly wondering whether they were audible to the castle. "You know nothing about him or what he's done for me - its your fault he's in _fucking Azkaban_ \- "

" _HE IS JUST IN AZKABAN,_ " Potter screamed, sounding extremely tired all of a sudden. " _THERE ARE NO DEMENTORS LEFT THERE_. Your scumbag of a father will be out in no fucking time. But because of him, _Sirius_ \- "

He broke off - his wand lowering. 

_Sirius? Draco thought, distractedly._

"Grow up, Malfoy," he said, clenching his jaw and looking away. "This isn't some schoolyard fight between us anymore."

"You think I don't _know that?!"_ he screamed, losing his temper once more. "The Dark Lord lives at my fucking house, Potter - you think - you think I'm glad my mother's alone with - _with them, with HIM?_ "

Potter stared at him for a moment - rubbing his forearm where Draco had struck him, as he tried to stop himself from shaking - and then chuckled darkly - bitterly.

_"So, we're both screwed, huh?"_

__

Harry didn't know what had compelled Malfoy to sit down in the classroom, opposite to him at that particular moment - even Malfoy seemed surprised - but he did. 

"Did you mean Sirius Black?" he asked, after a moment - as Harry stared blankly at his hands.

He jerked his head, startled - and looked at him for a moment, trying to see if the boy was just going to use that as fodder to mock him more. Malfoy seemed sincere. 

_Oh, what the hell._

"Yeah," Harry said, swallowing. "He is my - he _was_ my godfather. He - "

Malfoy seemed to understand, as he gritted his teeth - Harry wondered how somebody _could express so much emotion_ with just their eyebrows and lip purses. 

"Did - did my father - " Malfoy asked, haltingly, like he still didn't want to believe that his father could do something like that. "Was he the one who - "

"No," Harry said flatly, resisting the urge to be spiteful by saying _he might as well had_. "It was - Bellatrix. Your aunt, isn't she?"

Malfoy didn't reply, just tensed further.

"You know what the worst part is?" Harry said, smiling without an ounce of humor. "She just stunned him. And Sirius - he fell - though this Veil - this arch sort of thing - "

"The Veil of Death?" Malfoy asked, lifting his head. "In the Department of Mysteries, you mean?"

Harry nodded tightly, wondering why was it that he was always the last to know everything but the first to face them - in the worst conditions possible.

"Why was he near the arch?" Malfoy asked, frowning slightly. "The Hall of Prophecies is a completely separate chamber from - "

He broke off, his throat bobbing as Harry realized that he hadn't said anything about a prophecy - so there was only one way for Malfoy to know about it and suddenly feeling disgusted with himself for even entertaining Malfoy, started getting up and walking out -

He stopped as Malfoy grabbed him by the wrist, swinging around to glare at him incredulously.

"I didn't know," Malfoy said - lowly answering the unspoken question, his voice quiet but firm. "My mother wrote to me, _today morning._ I - I had no idea before this about - whatever trap the Dark Lord had set up for you. _I didn't know._ "

Harry shook him off, suddenly tempted to shout again. 

"And for what its worth, Potter, I'm sorry," he said, his eyes sincere. "I'm sorry about your godfather."

Harry felt incredibly pathetic - _as that particular line made him blink back tears_ , the way Malfoy was looking at him, not with pity or surprise that _Harry Potter was human too_ \- but the understanding in them. Either Malfoy was a much better actor than Harry had ever realised, or he truly meant his condolences.

_("Oh, that brave, sweet child," the rest of the world seemed to be saying - as they looked at Harry Potter, the boy who nobody believed - the honourable, courageous -_

_Bullshit._

_"That poor, miserable bastard," Malfoy grumbled, instead - and Harry completely agreed.)_

Harry nodded, finally - as Malfoy stowed his wand in his robes, and leaned on the wall near the door. 

"Voldemort is living at your house, you said?" Harry asked, remembering the way Malfoy had been trembling when he had talked about his mother.

"Going to tell your _precious Order?"_ Malfoy asked, sneering in his normal way, like the last moment hadn't happened between them. "I assure you, _Dumbledore_ obviously already knows. Malfoy Manor has always been the Dark Lord's main - "

Harry just waited as he snapped his mouth shut, quirking an eyebrow - and Malfoy huffed irritably and pushed past him, striding out.

"Its none of your business, Scarhead," he called back, but it had no trace of his usual bite. "You can get back to your glass smashing."

_It almost sounded like Malfoy was joking._

Harry didn't know why - but something about the way Malfoy spoke made him wonder if maybe Draco and Malfoy were two completely separate people - and maybe, just maybe - the git wasn't in as good a situation as he always made it out to be.

"Will do, Malfoy," he muttered, watching his platinum blonde hair glowing in the sunlight.

__

It had barely been half a day, before Malfoy came up to him again - this time, looking oddly excited - which naturally sent bells ringing violently in Harry's head. 

"Harry?" Neville called, confusion evident on his face as he came from the entrance to the Tower to the common room fireplace. "Er - Malfoy's outside. He's - um - he's looking for you."

Ron choked on the liquorice wand that he had been eating, as Hermione's hand jolted in surprise - the ink from her quill spreading on the letter she was writing home. 

"Mate, _what?_ " Ron said incredulously, still coughing as Harry got up, wincing.

"He's - well - he," Harry began haltingly, unable to explain. "I'll just see what he wants?"

Hermione and Ron exchanged a worried, and disbelieving glance, before exploding with questions that Harry promised to answer when he came back.

" _If_ you come back, you mean," Ron yelled as Harry stuffed his invisibility cloak and the Marauders Map in his robe pocket - _better prepared than dead_ \- and ran out.

Like Neville had said, Malfoy was indeed - waiting outside Gryffindor Tower for him, having quite a conversation with the Fat Lady, who was smiling fondly at Malfoy like he was her own son. 

_" - definitely darling, after all - feather corsets never went out of style, did they?"_

_"My mother always said - "_

Malfoy flushed and looked away as Harry swung open the portrait and grinned at him. "Do tell, Malfoy," he said, snorting. "Your opinion on victorian medieval fashion, I'm sure we all are - "

"I know a way to save your godfather," Malfoy said, abruptly.

___

Draco congratulated himself on that wondrous delivery.

_I know a way to save your godfather._

He should have built up on it, obviously.

Draco wished the Fat Lady - as the Gryffindors called her, apparently, _the heathens_ \- her name was Lady Elizabeth, _thank you very much_ \- would stop staring at him.

He also wished that Potter wouldn't pale as drastically as he did, before reddening just as rapidly in anger and proceed to shout at him about how he didn't need Draco coming and making a joke out of his godfather's death or about whatever had happened in the classroom that day.

He waited for Potter to run out of steam, before passing him a flatly unimpressed glare.

_" - and you're really no different than I thought you were, you're still the same, selfish git that you've always been!"_

"Can I speak now, Potter?" he asked, arbitrarily, before quirking an eyebrow and gesturing to a wide alcove on the side. 

Potter mumbled furiously under his breath as they stepped near the outside window.

"If you would kindly," Draco drawled lazily, sort of enjoying Potter's suspicious narrow eyed glare. " - not assume everything, then I can actually explain why I came all the over here from the dungeons - "

"Get on with it, Malfoy," Potter snapped impatiently, realizing what Draco was doing.

He smiled slowly, before saying, "You said that Black was stunned, didn't you?"

A flash of pain across his face, before he smoothed it out and nodded slowly. "And he fell through the arch."

"So, he didn't have any lethal curses perfomed on him before he died?" Draco pressed, not willing to believe that his half formed plan would work so easily.

"Not that I know of," Potter said, shaking his head, hesitantly at first. "He wasn't hit by anything else except that stunner, no. But I saw him falling through the - Malfoy, there's no way from the - "

"Wait, Potter - just, just shut up for a second, would you?" Draco said, trying to think - _there were just so many variables, so many people -_ so many things that could go so wrong -

Potter stayed quiet for exactly a second, before starting to fidget with a yellowing piece of parchment in his hand - like he just carried that around in his pocket - _the uncultured barbarian that he was_.

"I really don't understand what you mean, Malfoy - "

Draco looked at Potter, and saw that behind his casually impatient facade, there was so much pain - and exhaustion - and betrayed anger -

_(Salazar, Draco, when did you become such a softie? a sly voice in own head asked._

_I'm not a softie - its for my own purpose, he told the voice, firmly.)_

"Alright," he said, exhaling. "Okay. Potter, its not a foolproof plan or - or very well thought out, right now. But - "

"Is there any chance?" Potter asked, quietly, distrust clear in his eyes - but desperation trumping his suspicions about Draco.

"Yes," he said, just as quietly.

"I'm in, then," Potter said, with a tentative smile. 

__


	2. reminds me of you

__

_I know a way to save your godfather._

The words echoed in Harry's head again and again as he walked back to the common room - 

_Fine then, Malfoy. How about tonight? At eleven, in the Room of Requirement._

Harry knew that he was stupid to trust Malfoy - especially right after what had happened to Sirius - but this time, he wouldn't be risking anyone else - and besides, they had made the oaths.

_I, Draco Abraxas Malfoy, swear on my blood and my magic that my recent statement to Harry James Potter is true, and that as of now, I do not mean him any harm - direct or indirect, whatsoever._

Harry had appreciated the way he had shut loopholes in the Vow, because they were after all, on different sides in the war - even as he had made it from his side, too.

_I, Harry James Potter, swear on my magic that as of now, I do not mean Draco Abraxas Malfoy any harm - in any sense, indirect or direct - whatsoever._

Draco - he might as well call him Draco instead of Malfoy now - had been adamant in not telling Ron or Hermione anything. His method apparently, was not absolutely legal - and he didn't trust Hermione to not try stopping them or telling Dumbledore.

Harry couldn't argue against that.

Draco hadn't yet told Harry the whole plan, although, he had asked Harry a million questions about their trip to the Ministry - along with the little details about timings which Harry did his best to answer - insisting that he would tell him tonight, after he had researched it properly - and had left in a very Hermione-isque manner.

_I'll be in the Library, Potter. Figuring it all out. I would ask you to help if I didn't already know how abysmally dismal your work ethic is._

Harry had quite a fair idea of how Draco wanted to do it - but he wondered how he would get his hands on one. He was almost sure that during the chase in the Department of Mysteries, they had all been broken - 

He evaded Ron and Hermione's questions the best he could, because he would be damned if Dumbledore's _for the greater good_ attitude messed up his chances of getting Sirius back.

_I know a way to save your godfather._

_I'm in._

He didn't get much sleep till eleven, even though he went early for the same purpose.

___

Harry walked noiselessly up to the seventh floor corridor - one hand holding his wand, with a _Lumos_ and another gripping the Marauders' Map. There was nobody in the entirety of the floor, except for one dot _\- Draco Malfoy -_ which was pacing in front of the Room of Requirement's wall. Harry made sure to check one last time, especially for Snape and Filch - before whispering, _"Mischief managed,"_ and taking off his cloak so as to not startle Malfoy.

"Malfoy?" he whispered questioningly, willing the light to brighten.

" _No, its Mcgonagall's fucking husband,"_ Malfoy whispered back sarcastically, sounding frustrated. " _Obviously its me, you idiot._ "

Harry chose to not reply - sending Malfoy a concerned glance - he looked extremely harried - and paced three times in front of the room.

_We need a room where we can sit and talk privately._

Malfoy was pacing too, probably out of stress - rustling through pages in a diary in his hands - chewing on his quill randomly, which made Harry wonder how bad it was for him - Malfoy was never anything but perfectly presentable. 

_We need a room to sit and talk, only - something that calms Malfoy the fuck down._

The door appeared, and Malfoy looked at it with surprise, blinking - he had probably never seen it actually open before, without being forced to - _by Umbridge_ \- and Harry made his way inside, passing Malfoy a nervous smile - who gave him a half hearted sneer.

The room was an odd combination of the Slytherin and Gryffindor common rooms - the color scheme Slytherin, but the pattern more like Gryffindor's cosier one. There were puffy couches with loads of throw pillows and coffee tables everywhere - with Earl Grey pouches, which must be Malfoy's favourite. _Figures,_ Harry thought, _the posh ponce_.

"Well, Potter," Malfoy began, sitting down gingerly and tearing out papers and handing them to him in quick succession. "This is it. I think I've accounted everything - you told me you've time travelled before to save your _bloody chicken_ \- "

"Buckbeak's cool," Harry mumbled.

" - but that was much less complex," Malfoy continued easily, like Harry hadn't said anything. "You didn't have to break into the Ministry, or avoid your multiple version too actively. Neither was I there, which makes everything even more complex, because I cannot be seen by anybody, especially a death eater - if you're seen, it'll take a genius to tell that you've _bloody well time travelled_."

Harry just nodded, trying not to be too distracted by Draco's fiddling with the ring on his finger. _It was probably his Malfoy Heir Ring,_ he thought, pursing his lips.

"How do you even have one?" Harry asked, as he looked through Malfoy's list of people to avoid at what time and tasks to do by what time and grudgingly admitted that even his scribbled handwriting was like calligraphy. "A Time Turner, I mean?"

"Oh, come on, Potter," he said, huffing. "My father has a hundred aretfacts he shouldn't technically have. You think we won't have a Time Turner, when the Ministry gives them to thirteen year olds for _classes?!"_

That made sense. Harry tried focusing his attention on the fact that he loved Sirius more than he hated Lucius Malfoy. 

"I wrote to my mother," he continued, sniffing a touch snootily. "She's not happy exactly, but she's sent it. And I've spent the evening learning how to make a short distance portal. It should work, if we place it right in front of the Veil - and somehow conceal it properly."

"A portal?" Harry asked, quirking an eyebrow. That sounded difficult. "Exactly where would that connect to? And will it work in the Ministry?"

"Oh, that's easy enough," Malfoy said, tearing another page and pointing to a rough layout of the Ministry which didn't look _easy_ to cross. "It'll probably be harder to explain Black's sudden appearance - because I'm certainly not going down with you for this. Also, sneaking back into Hogwarts might be tough, because while its easy to just mount a thestral and go out, every ward that's being crossed from the outside is overseen by the Headmaster - "

"Leave that to me," Harry said, setting his chin determinedly. "I'll see to that. Also, let's not take thestrals. Brooms will be better for us. Except, I don't have mine yet so that's an issue - "

"I'll arrange that," Malfoy said, nodding sharply - his eyes narrowing at Harry's claims of being able to enter Hogwarts easily. "When do we leave, then?"

__

Malfoy and Harry stood in the grounds, both clad in Harry's winter cloaks, which they had gotten from the Gryffindor Tower - because they hadn't wanted to go down to the dungeons - they had sent a message down, through a second year kid who had been sneaking about the kitchens.

Malfoy was shivering quite badly - and Harry was resisting the obsessive and obviously _deranged_ urge to take off his cloak and wrapping that too around him. In the end, when the chattering of his teeth got too much - Harry calmed himself down by applying a warming charm which Malfoy barely reacted to. 

"Why're you doing this?" Harry asked, finally - he had briefly entertained the notion of Malfoy of doing this out of the goodness of his heart - and then discarded that with a laugh. "What're you getting out of this?"

Malfoy blinked at him like it was obvious.

"Why am _I doing this?"_ he asked, before smiling bemusedly. "You really haven't realised it, yet have you?"

"Spell it out for me, why don't you?" Harry said, sighing.

_"Well, obviously - "_

"Mr. Malfoy?" 

Both Harry and Malfoy turned towards the high pitched voice, as a tiny Slytherin second year - the same one who had been outside the kitchens, came forward into the light. "Mr. Malfoy? I got your brooms?"

He certainly wasn't carrying any. He wouldn't have been able to walk straight with them.

"I told you to wake up Crabbe or Goyle, didn't I?" Malfoy said, crossly - as Harry wondered if all the Slytherin juniors were such angels - striding towards him. "Why'd you come back yourself?"

"Also, where are the brooms?" Harry added, inspecting behind him with raised eyebrows.

"Pansy told me not to wake them up," he said, his lips so blue that Harry was starting to worry. "Mr. Zabini shrunk them for me. He also told me to tell you - well - I can't say the exact words," he blushed slightly, " - but he meant to say _take care_."

Draco nodded distractedly, taking the miniature brooms from the kid's hands and nodding a _thanks and if you tell anyone about this, I'll ruin your life_. The kid started turning back towards the castle, when Draco called back, "Were Pansy and Blaise both awake?"

The kid flushed so bad, Harry bit back a smile, looking at Draco quizzically - even as Draco started laughing. 

"Er - yes. They were - um - they were both in Mr. Zabini's bed," he said, to Harry's shock - shuffling his feet and Draco snorted loudly, shaking his head fondly.

When the kid had disappeared from sight, Harry turned to Malfoy, and blurted out, "Aren't you and Pansy - er - together?"

Malfoy laughed so incredulously, Harry almost felt stupid - until he realised he definitely wasn't the only one who thought so.

"I just thought - you're both so," Harry said, expanding and mounting his Nimbus 2001 because he didn't know what to do with his hands. "Well - you know - touchy."

"Pansy's just a very physical person, Potter," Malfoy said, dryly - unshrinking his own broom, the golden chain of the Time Turner visible on his collarbone. "More so with me because we've known each other since - well. There probably wasn't a time when I didn't know her. We share birthdays, you know. Born next to each other. Its - just how we are."

He gaped at Malfoy for a second.

Harry hadn't ever realised how much Pansy meant to Draco until this little speech, the way he talked about her with so much fondness - he felt a little pang of jealousy at the fact that Malfoy had had a friend like that since forever. Harry didn't have any friend who he could talk about his childhood with. There was nobody out there who could claim knowing Harry like that.

"She's like a bossy elder sister that I never asked for," he said, grinning at Harry before realising what he was doing and stopping abruptly. _Harry probably shouldn't miss his smile as much as he did_.

They cast disillusionment charms, as strong as possible - even though it really wasn't that important because it was so dark - and then took off. 

Harry suddenly remembered why he hated Umbridge so much all over again - _she had taken this away from him -_ the rush of wind, the adrenaline burst as he dived or spun.

They hovered just a little above the castle - Merlin, it was so cold - until Malfoy said, somberly, "You asked me why I'm doing all this. Its simple, Potter. I love my father just as much as you love your godfather."

_Oh. I am really a brain dead idiot._

Obviously, Harry thought, shaking his head. He couldn't exactly fault Malfoy for trying to save his father from prison - he was a father to Draco before he was a death eater. He couldn't even fault Draco for being deliberately vague about it all, because he should probably have guessed it already - and Draco needed Harry, to tell him exactly where the place was, when it had all happened - what if this tipped Harry off board?

Harry didn't look at Malfoy, but he could see him from the corner of his eye - shoulders tense and taut, like he expected Harry to back out _even now_ \- eyes narrowed and calculating as he looked at him.

He spun his broom into another dive, before coming and stopping right in front of Malfoy - and jerking his head in the general direction of where they had to go.

" _Scared, Malfoy?"_ he asked, grinning - and Harry saw him visibly relax, before he smirked wickedly, his smile all canines.

_"You wish, Potter."_

___


	3. because it is falling hard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very, very short filler update - the fourth and last chapter will be longer, and uploaded soon! Enjoy!!

___

Harry and Draco maintained the flight easily, their speeds reasonably fast - as Harry looked all around, he hadn't seen the way at all last time - he had been too worried about Sirius.

He could see tops of buildings and the streams of luminous headlights - and Malfoy's blonde hair from the corner of his eyes - it was so dark that every once in a while, Harry had to use _Lumos_ again. Malfoy had reassured Harry a hundred times - that since they were on broomstick and actively moving, and the Ministry had no way of tracing underage magic to specific wands - they could freely use it.

They didn't talk the entire way there - because honestly, what do you say to your worst school enemy when you're on an illegal mission to save your loved ones? Quite suddenly, as Malfoy pointed downwards - and Harry recognized the place with a painful lurch - they were landing.

"Hurry up, Potter!"

Malfoy marched into the battered phonebooth - and Harry did his best to calm down his nerves, realizing now that Malfoy was one of those people who constantly needed to do something or they would go in anaphylactic shock. 

He waited as Malfoy spoke fake names like _John Smith, yes and his brother Henry_ \- giving the directions coolly even as he shrunk his broomstick and put it back in his pocket. 

"Visitor to the Ministry, you are required to submit to a search and present your wand for registration at the security desk, which is located at the far end of the Atrium."

"Absolutely pathetic," Malfoy muttered, as the clear voice rang out - and Harry forced himself to focus on now, not the last time he was here. "The Ministry's security really is pitiful at best. My father always says - "

_Was it wierd that now Harry could see that Malfoy wasn't always showing off when he said his father's name, but rather that he admired him so much he couldn't stop talking about him?_

_Was it also wierd that Harry somehow found it sort of endearing?_

_Yeah. That probably was wierd._

He decided to ignore any Draco related feelings at the moment.

"The Ministry of Magic wishes you a pleasant experience," said the woman’s voice.

___


	4. and i am too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Filler chapter again, but a longer one, hope you enjoy!!!

___

_"Come on, you can do better than that!"_

Apparently, she could. 

In Sirius's defense, it had been fourteen years since he had last used a wand for this kind of duelling. On the other hand, it wasn't like _dear cousin Bella_ had spent the last decade practicing. Besides the screaming and the taunting, that is. She had done a whole lot of that in Azkaban.

_( - Bellatrix was the one who first taught Sirius how to duel. She had been eleven and he had been seven, and they were the dynamic duo of the Black family. The fiercest in their respective nuclears, the powerful - most notorious children around, with sharp smirks and sharp eyes and even sharper words. Narcissa and Regulus were the soft ones, the ones that Bellatrix and Sirius felt protective about. Andromeda had always been too smart to get into their little skirmishes._

_"Come on, Bella, you can do better than that!" seven year old Sirius had yelled, laughing as she sent a horrible tickling jinx towards him. "Even Cissy can do better than - "_

_"Keep your guard up, cousin!" Bellatrix yelled, as she twisted around and shot a binding spell that immediately grappled Sirius to the ground - who pulled a petulant face. "That's the first rule of a master dueller. They never, ever lose focus." - )_

He hadn't learnt that well enough, maybe. There was a blur of motion, the red spell zooming out to his chest - Bellatrix's delighted expression - the paralysis he felt as he stumbled - he could suddenly hear voices he hadn't heard in so long - the words all jumbled up and unclear, was this what people meant by their lives flashing before their eyes" - 

_( - "We’re going to die. And then my mother is going to kill me," James lamented._

_"She can’t kill you if you’re already dead," Remus pointed out._

_“Spoken like someone who’s never met my mother," James said, as Sirius laughed a little bitterly - his hands and feet still covered with fur._

_"My mother once had a summertime fling with Lord Voldemort," Sirius said, causing Peter to choke on air and James to stare at him with wide, horrified eyes. "I'm sure I can attest to the brutality of mothers." - )_

All of it maybe happened in a second, but Sirius could almost separate the voices and from where they were coming - he could hear someone else now, a younger voice, all mixed up - Harry, Harry was calling for him -

_( - "You have no proof." Sirius said calmly, smiling serenely at Mcgonagall and praying that James wouldn't come this way right now._

_Perhaps that should be my official catchphrase, he mused drily, just as James came running across the corner, breathless - a huge polka dotted bucket in his hands, filled with purple flowers and yellow rubberducks. - )_

"SIRIUS! SIRIUS! NO - HE'S NOT DEAD! - " 

Sirius wondered if he would ever be able to make it upto Harry. 

Probably not. 

_( - "First, stolen liquor and now this," Sirius said, his voice wondrous as he held up the four muggle rock concert tickets that Remus had bought for Sirius's birthday. "You surprise me constantly, Moony."_

_"Maybe you just never paid enough attention before," Remus said, quietly - but his eyes were sparkling._

_The irony of the statement almost made him laugh. He could almost imagine James snorting, with a, "You're the only thing Padfoot pays any attention to, you pillock."_

_"Maybe," he replied instead, aloud. "You contain too many mysterious facades, huh?"_

_Remus smiled blithely as he said, "Oh, I'm not that interesting."_

_"There's a naked sketch of yours stuck in the Divination room that says differently," Sirius replied, laughing - they all knew who had put that up._

_"See my naked sketch a lot, do you?" Moony asked, hitting Sirius on the head, lightly with the tickets. - )_

A part of Sirius's brain wondered idly why none of the things he could remember were the important ones. There was no recollection of that awful Halloween night, the night he had lost everything - or of any of the big events scattered through the course of his short life - the summer night when he had run away, the night Harry was born - 

Harry, Harry, Harry - was he going to be alright? Sirius could only hope, and what was the point of that when all his other hopes had been dashed -

_( - "What’s a couple of kids like you two doing fighting Death Eaters?”_

_"More than the Ministry, I’d say," Sirius muttered quietly, looking up from his bike to give him a look of disdain that held more truth than Arthur Weasley wanted to acknowledge._

_James just shrugged, the golden phoenix on his shirt crumpling for a moment. “Sport?"_

_“Fun?” Sirius added, sounding a little more upbeat._

_“Pride?”_

_"Boredom?” Now Sirius had on a wide smile on his face._

_“Oh, that’s good.” James nodded in approval, then smiled widely at Arthur and the Auror standing with him. “I guess just for the hell of it, sir." - )_

It was all going faster now, little things and titbits, simple, beautiful memories that kept Sirius sane in Azkaban - high fives and closets and nicked firewhiskey and scribbled margins of books - fireplaces and kisses behind the greenhouse and Remus's quill scratching against the map - _"Will you be the godfather, Sirius?" -_

_( - "So. What did you tell Marge you do?” Lily asked, wrapping an arm around James - and ignoring Sirius gagging._

_“Nothing," James replied, shiftily._

_“You didn't tell her anything?”_

_Sirius barked out a laugh, before Lily glared at him._

_“No,” James shook his head, mortified. “I said we do nothing . Which isn’t actually a lie, because Mum and Dad don’t work anymore. But then she and that colonel man started fussing about ‘jobless riff-raff’ and I made a run for it.”_

_Lily laughed easily. “Well, she wasn’t wrong about the riff-raff part. You’ve got trouble written all over you, Potter." - )_

Sirius could see Remus holding Harry back - his grey hair suddenly more pronounced, the pain in his eyes clear - along with the knowledge that Sirius did that - and Harry - who was yelling, calling him back - 

_( - "Yeah, I know," Sirius said, taking Alice Fawley's offered hand. "Frank mentions you sometimes."_

_He left out "in his sleep" out of sheer courtesy. - )_

"HE - IS - NOT - DEAD - !"

_( - "Get a grip," James said, snapping his fingers in front of Sirius's face - who was staring at Gideon Prewett._

_"On him?" Sirius asked, a little dreamily._

_"Stop that," James said, eyes wide. - )_

"SIRIUS!" 

Sirius wished he could scream back. 

_( - "Fine, then," eleven year old James Potter said, sitting down on the side as Sirius and Remus taught Peter the disarming spell - leaving Marlene in the centre of the duelling club space. "Fine. Duel with the snakes, then. If somebody beats you up, don't come crying to me."_

_"Okay," Marlene agreed easily, grinning and flipping her long, blonde hair back. "But if somebody beats you up, you can come to me. I'll deck them."_

_Marlene was the first one from the girls to win Sirius's respect. And his first kiss. And definitely the first one to ever tell Sirius that -_

_"I don't think I like girls much," Sirius said, off-handedly, handing Marls the cigarette they were sharing on the Tower - pretending that his shoulders weren't tensed, that his eyes weren't red._

_She stared at him, sideways, before plucking the cigarette from his hands. "I think I do," she whispered. - )_

"I KILLED SIRIUS BLACK! I KILLED SIRIUS - " 

"HE - IS NOT DEAD! - SIRIUS! - " 

Harry - Harryharry _Prongslet_ Harryharry - I'mso _sorry_ sorry - moonyRemus _packremus_ remusharry - 

_( - Sirius was ten and Regulus was eight and he had nightmares too often - their rooms were on the same floor landing, exactly fifty six steps away -_

_"There was fire everywhere, Siri," Reg whispered. "There was fire everywhere, and I was locked in my room, and mother had locked it and I couldn't get out and I was screaming and - "_

_"Hey, Reggie" he interrupted him, softly snorting. "There would be a fire here only if we blow this place up. And if we do, you're going to be right outside with me, cheering, okay?"_

_Regulus had settled down like that was a completely acceptable reply, hogging Sirius's blanket all night. They didn't mention it in the morning. - )_

"SHE KILLED SIRIUS - SHE KILLED HIM, I'M GOING TO KILL HER! - "

_( - "So, what's the plan, then?" James asked, balancing on top of his broomstick, as Lily laughed, trying to grab it. - )_

Sirius could feel the pressure under his skin, prickling and burning and boiling - if Harry ran after Bellatrix, he was as good as dead - it was all Sirius's fault, he shouldn't have changed Secret Keepers, shouldn't have listened to Harry last summer and killed Pettigrew, a dead body was evidence enough - shouldn't have spent so much time in Grimmauld alone and moping - should have done more, done better - betterbetterbetter -

_( - "I love you, Sirius," Remus whispered, hair glowing in the dim twilight. - )_

There was darkness - and then, a tugging sensation that felt like apparition - was that what dying felt like? -

_( - "Mischief Managed, Padfoot," James said, grinning brightly, like always - )_

Sirius blinked in the sudden, blinding light, trying to adjust to it as he saw two figures standing in front of him, dark and light - just as one of them streaked towards him, enveloping Sirius in a hug. 

Sirius couldn't react, as he saw the messy dark hair and wondered if this was James, was that how the afterlife worked, but he didn't feel particularly dead - 

Green eyes. _Lily's eyes._

"Sirius - I'm sorry, I'm sorry - I didn't know and Voldemort sent me a dream, and Kreacher lied to me - and then, you died - " 

Harry. 

Sirius didn't know what was going on or what Harry was saying but he hugged back even tighter than Harry's death grip, yes, yes - it was Harry - Harry's smell, and Sirius could taste salt, was he crying or was Harry? 

"Its okay," he said, ruffling his hair unconsciously. "Its okay, okay - I'm okay, are _you_ okay?" 

He swept his gaze over Harry who definitely looked a lot cleaner and less injured than Sirius last remembered - but Padfoot's instincts were never wrong, this was Harry - this was his _pup_ \- 

Somebody cleared their throat softly, and Sirius gently untangled from Harry, only to look at - 

Malfoy. 

Junior. 

Well. 

Sirius gave his surroundings a perfunctory glance, if he had to guess - they were in another level of the Ministry, the faulty leaky one on top, though how he got there was another question. And if what Harry was saying about Sirius dying was true, then - 

He resisted the urge to stun Malfoy and apparate with Harry out of the country. Now that Harry had calmed down a little - Sirius was still rubbing his back slowly - he looked a little sheepish, yet determinedly defiant. 

Sirius had spent enough time around James to know that particular expression. 

He wondered how many rules Harry had broken by doing whatever he did and just how many justifications he had for it. 

"Are you ready?" Malfoy asked, shifting his weight from one foot to another - in a nervous - and completely uncharacteristic lack of display of Malfoy-ness.

"No," Harry sighed. "But let's go, anyway." 

"That's practically my motto," Sirius muttered, before turning to Harry with a questioning eyebrow. 

Where the hell were they? 

How did they even get here? 

More importantly, what the hell were they doing here? 

__


End file.
